Chapter 3

Elian

Chapter 3- Waiting

Ulmer looked into the bag where the “disguise” was. It consisted of a bad quality red wig and an outfit that looked slightly too big for us. It didn’t seem like it would work at all. But we had to have something to eat. It’d been hours since we’d shown up in this body and I could already feel its stomach rumbling. We had to go get something to eat!

Ulmer put the wig on badly. It was clear that he’d never put a wig on before. Okay, Ulmer, you have to bunch up all your hair together first. Is there a wig cap in there? If not, we could maybe use a shower cap. Elian, the wig cap is attached to the wig. What do you call this? That is the inside of the wig, not a wig cap. If we don’t get a wig cap, all the hair will fall out. And we should put the clothes on before the wig or we’ll have to put the wig on again or it’ll look sloppy. Elian, I really don’t think it’s as important as all that. I sighed a little mentally. I’m just trying to help.

Ulmer pulled our long black hair back in a big clump and attempted to put the wig on again. A few clumps of hair fell free from it, the black obviously unmatching, and then Ulmer began to put on the clothes over what we were currently wearing.

Ulmer. What are you doing now? I’m… putting the clothes on? Over our regular clothes? Just take them off and put these clothes on! That’s the point! Now we definitely look weird.  

There was a moment of hesitation from Ulmer. I’m… not ready for that. Elian, she’s… Ulmer let his words end there. I kind of wanted to roll my eyes. Ulmer, she’s us. And we’ve got to do it sometime. What are we going to do, just never shower or go to the bathroom? We’ll smell horrible. I know! I know! I know we have to do it at some point, but not right now. It’s just that I’m basically an adult, and she’s a child, and it’s just really uncomfortable!

I kind of understood where Ulmer was hypothetically coming from, but this person was us, at least for now. It was our own body, and we had to learn to get comfortable with it or it would make everything really difficult. Once we ate food and drank we’d have to go to the bathroom eventually, and it would be best if we took a shower at some point. And getting dressed was just basic.

Maybe you can dress us and I’ll close our eyes. This was a good compromise on Ulmer’s part, and I nodded. Okay, let’s do that then.

Wearing the new clothes, hair mostly hidden under the wig, we ventured out into the main hall of the Skybus. According to the signs, we were now hovering over the american wastes and it was late evening. I guess you could even call it night. There were at least a dozen different food options. Ulmer immedietly begun walking us towards one.

Wait. Where are we going? Oh. Fresh Time. Do you not like Fresh Time? I’ve never been there. What do they have there? Well, they have a wide variety of salads and- I’d rather not. What? Elian, don’t we want this body to be healthy? Do you want to return it to this girl on the road to major health issues in her future? I don’t think that eating one meal from somewhere with tastier food is going to irrevocably ruin it. Well, I’d like to establish a precedent that we will feed this body healthy food. And I’d like to establish that I’m kind of a picky eater. Not the biggest fan of a lot of healthy foods. Like, for example, lettuce.

What’s wrong with lettuce? It’s the culinary equivalent of cardboard.

Ulmer rolled his eyes and attempted to keep walking to Fresh Time as I attempted to stop him. As he attempted to step forward, I tried to pull him back. We stood there still for a moment, until Ulmer suddenly took a step forward, and another. Despite my best efforts, Ulmer walked forward to the Salad Zone. Can we at least get a tasty salad? All salads are tasty, Elian.

The Kale and Protein salad was not, in fact, tasty. I would almost call it gross. Sure, there was no lettuce in it. But if lettuce was the culinary equivalent of cardboard, kale was the culinary equivalent of styrofoam. And I wasn’t sure what the fake protein slices were supposed to taste like. They tasted stale, that was for sure.

We sat there, in the Fresh Time, eating terrible salad, watching the people walk by. Ulmer’s eyes were fixated on the people leaving the transportation pods and walking towards the luggage claim. Finally, I decided to ask him why he was staring at them.

Why are you staring at the luggage claim?  I’m just thinking about my stuff. Do you think we could just walk in there really quick and get it? I’d rather not lose my things. I don’t know. Don’t they check that you’re the person whose luggage it is? They’re supposed to, but never do. Don’t you have things you don’t want lost, Elian?

I thought about it for the briefest of moments before shaking my head. Naw. There’s my tablet, but there’s nothing important on there that I can’t just access on my Milly account. I have one set of clothes, but they wouldn’t fit me here. Um. A toothbrush. Toothpaste? My phone vanished with my clothes.  Well, unlike you, I have important things in my bag. And I don’t trust the cloud for everything. Did you pop out of the last century? Excuse me?

I paused. This head voice conversation couldn’t really communicate tone of voice or anything. Um, it was a joke, Ulmer. You probably shouldn’t trust the cloud for everything, I’m just lazy. Ulmer didn’t reply, just stayed silent. I flipped the salad lid closed and stood up. Let’s go get your stuff!

Getting it all was very easy. We basically walked in and walked back out. Ulmer kept his bag in a corner of the room, confusing me as to why he had wanted it at all, and I went to read the book I’d bought from the bookstore about dreams. Ulmer watched television while I read the book. The body was okay at multitasking. It was difficult, but not impossible, and I mostly read the book during Ulmer’s commercial breaks. The show was something political, modern, super boring. Ulmer laughed at things about it that weren’t funny. I barely got even a chapter through my book.

According to this guy, Dr. Greyson, the subconcious knew a lot of things that you didn’t about the world and was a lot smarter than you at predicting things that were going to happen. But the subconcious only showed you these things in ways it perfectly understood but you couldn’t. I didn’t know if I believed all this.

At 9, Ulmer went to go brush our teeth, and even though it was way too early, went to sleep.

I can’t believe you don’t drink coffee. Why not? I just can’t believe it. You seem like the sort of person who drinks it constantly. Well, I don’t. And it was the truth. I wasn’t allowed to. I had done many things in my life I wasn’t supposed to, but this specific thing involved having money and I didn’t. I’ve wanted to try it, though… but doesn’t it taste gross the first time you drink it?

Ulmer paused as he looked at the options. We’ll order something cold, maybe with chocolate. Can we also get a muffin? No. Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous.

Breakfast was fine. After that, we returned to the room. It was nearly ten by the time we got the first text.

L: Meet me in the atrium by the Fresh Time.

By the time we arrived in the atrium, the man we’d met the past day was standing there next to a young man with spiked silver hair. “I’m just saying, Mr. Lis-” he was saying, before the man, apparently “Mr Lis” or something held up a hand to stop him.

“Oh, look who it is! Jojo, you’re here at last. Alex, this is Josephine. My niece.” He winked at Alex and Alex rolled his eyes. We looked nothing like Mr. Lis whatever so I guess he wasn’t fooled. Mr. Lis reached out and uncomfortably rubbed our head. I hated the sensation but Ulmer smiled at him. “Anyway, my niece is interested in being a Skybus employee one day, and so why don’t you show her the employee training videos?”

Alex raised an eyebrow. “The employee training videos? Uh, you do know that the general public sho-”

Mr. Lis’s hand patted down firmly and uncomfortably on our shoulder. “She’s not the general public. She’s my niece.” He turned to us, face twisted in a… well, it was kind of a friendly glare. “Isn’t that right, Jojo?”

Ulmer nodded our head. “That’s right, uncle. I’m so excited to watch the videos.”

Alex sighed. “Okay, well then, follow me, and don’t touch anything. The only thing you can touch is the chairs. And only the one you’re sitting on. That’s it.”

If Josephine found these training videos interesting I had to feel really bad for her. I don’t know why she would want to see the interior electrical and plumbing systems of the Skybus, but even I sometimes liked to watch engineering or building shows and I found this super boring. Ulmer. Are you paying attention?  Are you? Not really. I wish we could just leave. Well, we’ve got to appease our uncle. Ulmer, I don’t think Mr. Lis is our real uncle. I had air quotes around uncle. Well , air quotes don’t actually transfer through the medium of thought.

The video was now going on and on about the micro fusion reactor inside of the Skybuses and how they provided limitless clean energy, and I just kind of wanted to fall asleep. Elian? Are you… bored? Trying to make the body fall asleep? Yeah. You never answered my question about whether or not you were paying attention. I guess the part about the reactor is kind of interesting. I studied a bit of electrics at school, that was the sort of job I was planning to get on the Skybus.

Well, since Ulmer was watching his show (the inner workings of a fusion reactor show, I guess) I had to pay attention. There were very few people who worked on the fusion reactor, but everyone had to be trained in how to evacuate the Skybus in order of the reactor malfunctioning. This had never happened in the twenty years of successful Skybus operations.

Just like Skybuses catching on fire…

Or Skybuses flooding…

Or having to deploy the emergency brake.

They were now on emergency procedures and they were all pointless. I closed our eyes for a moment, and by the time we opened them again, the video had turned to a skit of a armed gunman attempting to take over a Skybus.

I sighed and stared at the ceiling. In the skit one of the the skybus employees was running to deploy the emergency brake so that the Skybus wouldn’t be hijacked.

Ulmer hummed thoughtfully as the video showed the operation of the emergency brake. Well, I have no idea how that works. Well, Ulmer, that makes two of us.